Become a Better Negotiator; Work on Your Communication Skills

Do you believe it’s possible that we’ve got the idea of negotiation all wrong?

Some of us do, anyway. It’s easy to think of negotiation as a game, or a contest — especially when you’re good at it! As you approach the table for a negotiation, it can be tempting to think about how you might crush your opponent, or how you might try to get as many of your terms agreed to as possible.

But in the end, that’s an empty and ineffective approach. Negotiation should really be about compromise. It should be about both parties involved feeling like they got something of valuable — not necessarily all of their wishes met, but at least a fair shake.

Everyone should walk away from the negotiation table feeling good about things; that’s the idea, anyway. It’s ideal because it builds a foundation for a long-term relationship from which both parties benefit. Consider: If the settlement you reach is lopsided or unfair, at least one party is going to be reluctant to come back to the negotiation table again. It’s essentially a burned bridge.

It’s not about winners and losers, then. Negotiation is really about clear and effective communication. Communication is how you arrive at a conclusion that leaves you happy, but also leaves your partner feeling like he or she was heard and…